Concurrent Consciousness and Dissociative Identity Disorder

My wife, my girls, and I have now passed the 9-year mark of our healing journey for her dissociative identity disorder. The last 2 years have been hard and disappointing ones which is why I’ve been so quiet on this blog. I never blame the girls for the difficulties. It’s not their fault: no one asks to have d.i.d. But after almost having the first 7 girls completely connected and our sex life finally becoming minimally healthier after 27 years of utter dysfunction, Jenny’s healing needs have reset the clock in so many ways.

And yet, Jenny has made progress in so many ways. Moreover, despite her domination on the outside for the last 2 years, the other 7 girls continue to make progress as well. As for Jenny, she, like Tina, was 100% dissociated from the other girls which has made tearing down the dissociative walls so much harder. But unlike Tina who had Sophia’s help during the connection process, Jenny has had no other girl able to help her, yet. However, she and the other girls have developed a pre-cursor to co-consciousness. It’s what I call “concurrent consciousness.”

Concurrent consciousness is the subconscious ability for Jenny and the other girls to do things ‘together’ without recognition that they are doing it together. From my vantage point I can see all kinds of collaboration between Jenny and the other 7 girls. They’ve done numerous sewing projects together since Jenny joined our family. They also read vast numbers of books together: probably at least 10 books a week. And at this point, I hear regular updates from ‘both sides of the divide’ on a range of daily activities that Jenny and the other 7 have done. The stories always correlate, often verbatim. And yet when I point out the obvious connection Jenny has to the other 7 girls, they are all mystified. They don’t disbelieve me, but they simply have no cognition of doing these multitude of tasks ‘concurrently.’

And as I think back, Tina and the other girls also developed this ability before they were co-conscious with the others. But fortunately for each of them, they were able to move from ‘concurrent consciousness’ to ‘co-consciousness’ more quickly than Jenny has. During this phase I always hear the ‘new’ girl claim to do tasks and the other girls refute those claims saying, “She did not! We/I did it!” It’s a little funny from my perspective to hear them arguing over who did what. To me, I’m simply happy that the new girl is clearly interested in the activities of the other girls because I know that interest is what will eventually draw her into full connection with them. But until then, I simply remind the other girls that it is a good thing that Jenny feels she is doing these tasks with them (and she is!)

Unfortunately for Jenny, no other girl has been able to consciously connect with her yet. She seems closest to her reading partner, Shelly, but she also uses Sophia’s voice and clearly is connected deeply to Sophia and her sister Tina. But concurrent consciousness is an important step forward.

I believe the reason why Jenny has not moved to full co-consciousness yet may be the elongated process ‘securely attaching’ her to me has become. The pattern for my girls has never changed: each girl first securely attaches to me before she feels safe, or even cares, to attach to the rest of the group. But for Jenny the attachment process has been agonizingly slow. Even slower than it was for Tina. I continue to do all I can to support and help her, but unlike Tina who welcomed my help more than any other girl, Jenny wants to do it on her own.

And so there it is: concurrent consciousness. It’s a great step forward even though it isn’t the final goal. I love to hear both groups of girls tell me of their daily, identical thoughts and activities concerning much but not everything they do.

Blessings,

Sam

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