Very Inspiring Blogger Award

Recently CCChanel et al  nominated me for this award.  Thank you for the award and thinking of this blog. I appreciate her blog located here and hope some of my readers will take the time to read thru some of her stuff  for her perspective on d.i.d and life.

Here are the flexible rules for this award:

1) Of course, thank the person who nominated you and give the link to their blog

2) List the rules (hint this is them) and display the award on your blog (see below rules)

3) Share seven (7) facts about yourself

4) Nominate up to fifteen (can be less) blogs that inspire you, on your blog (** also, link the blog they are nominated on back to them..they probably want to know)

I told CCChanel that trying to think of 7 positive things about myself right now is a difficult task. I’ve noted in my personal journal how my wife and I are switching places. I am exhibiting more and more signs of trauma while she and the little girls are coming to life, exuberantly experiencing things, growing and reaching for the stars. But here goes my attempt.

1) I am a 47 year old Buckeye who has been married 26 years and has a 23 year old son in graduate school. We happily homeschooled him through high school, and I still have a lot of fond memories of those 13 years we did that with him.

2) I am the middle child of 5. My siblings and parents are scattered over 3 other states, the closest of whom is 9 hours away,sigh.

3)In a different life I was our high school valedictorian, graduated college with a 4.0 and was ‘heading places’ until my wife’s disorder kicked in and blindsided us. Now I numbly spend my days working a factory job and this little blog, my personal journal and my constant mulling over ways to undo the dissociation between my girls is the only mental stimulation in my life, sigh…

4)I moved back to the town of my birth, after the rest of my family had moved on, to be part of my aging grandmother’s life. Those 15+ years we shared with her were some of the best of our marriage. She and my wife were like two peas in a pod, often doing things together or talking on the phone every day of the week. Six years after my grandmother’s death, my wife still considers my grandmother the only ‘best’ friend she has ever had. She became my son’s confidant. And our family spent every Sunday for years eating with her and doing day trips on Saturdays to area events with her as well.

5)Even though my wife’s dissociative identity disorder has nearly destroyed every hope and dream I ever had, in many ways I like the man I have had to become to love her and help her heal. Her disorder has broken and bruised me more than I ever thought possible, but as a result I think I’m a more compassionate and gentle man. At least I hope I am.

6)My greatest fear is that I will never find someone in the d.i.d. establishment to listen to the things I have learned about the structure of d.i.d. and how to help someone with it heal from this disorder: things that I have learned from my 6 years of 24/7 involvement in our joint journey. I have carried my wife/my girls thru the valleys and up the hills of this journey until they got to the point where now they are beginning to walk it with me, and lately they carry me at times too. I’ve got over 7,000 pages of documentation at this point of how I have guided the daily progress my girls have made, how we have by-passed so many of the things considered part and parcel with this disorder, how I am re-writing the hardwiring in my wife’s brain so that in many ways she doesn’t even act like a trauma victim anymore. But as we recently discussed on CCChanel’s blog, most therapist seem unwilling to listen to those of us in the trenches, fighting to see our wives healed. Maybe some day Pharoah’s butler will remember this cellmate…

7)My greatest hope is that I will have my girls completely thru the healing process soon enough that we can still have the fairytale marriage I have always dreamed of having.

I would like to nominate one other blog for this award. A young lady, Sarah K. Reece, from down under who shares from her heart about her and her partner’s experiences and is trying to make a difference for those with d.i.d where she lives. She has chosen to live openly about her disorder, discarding the anonymity that so many of us hold on to. I applaud her for that, and hope some day my girls will allow us to do the same. Please visit Sarah here:

Thank you, CCChanel et al, again.



8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. manyofus1980
    Sep 09, 2014 @ 03:54:41

    Congratulations on the award! Way to go! XX


  2. ccchanel41
    Sep 09, 2014 @ 23:15:43

    I love your post, Sam….my hope is one day you will write a book…one needs much less than 7,000 pages 😉 Either way, love this…and your blog, of course.. -CC


    • Sam Ruck
      Sep 09, 2014 @ 23:35:02

      Thanks…yeah the 7,000 pages is just our daily progress and struggles and how I helped the girls connect to each other, their perspectives, my perspective, how the girls interact with each other and me, and all the other little details that most researchers would never have access to unless they lived with someone who has d.i.d. I know no one except a die-hard research therapist would have any interest in it: I just wish I could get someone to take me/it seriously.


  3. flowerofthewoods
    Sep 11, 2014 @ 12:18:31

    Your blog makes a difference to those who read it. I hope that you remember that.


    • Sam Ruck
      Sep 11, 2014 @ 17:45:50

      Hi Flower,

      thanks for the encouragement. Sometimes it’s hard to remember.



    • manyofus1980
      Sep 12, 2014 @ 02:30:35

      Hi there…those of you who read our old blog, I am asking you if you’d like to read our privatised blog. We have dissociative identity disorder and PTSD, we write about our journey to healing, our therapy process, and our ups, and downs in life. Our blog is currently private because we write about some heavy topics but if you request access we will approve you. To request access visit thanks for reading


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