To the Ladies I Have Unintentionally Triggered

To the DID ladies on wordpress who seem to be insinuating that I am a predator and seeing a double meaning in everything I write:

I’m sorry that the surname I choose for my blog, which is my mother’s maiden name, is “mildly triggering” to you. It is of German origin.

I’m also sorry you find the story of my interaction with my wife and her insiders to have “no substance.” The 887 pages of my daily journal and over 350 pages of emails that Alleylieu and Amy and I send each other daily for the last two years are the basis of what I share besides being with them every minute of the day that I am not at work.

I hope some day that you find enough healing for yourselves that you do not see every non-DID man as a potential predator. I also hope some day that you find a man who truly acts like a man and is willing to sacrifice everything dear to his own life, goals and desires to help the woman he married and the little girls inside heal as he fills them with love.

Many blessings to each of you!!!

Sam

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. serafina
    Aug 07, 2010 @ 14:26:59

    Rock on Sam! keep on keeping on!! You are making a difference!

    Blessings and prayers!

    M

    Reply

  2. Paul
    Aug 10, 2010 @ 19:01:55

    Sam,

    I just took a cursory look at your site, based on what’s been happening on the other sites, and of course each to their own.

    But I will say something that that may help you understand people’s reaction to what you are doing and saying. By any definition, your approach is very unorthodox (as in it only works on soap operas), and, as someone said earlier, it is “off putting”. It’s that way because while it appears your heart is in the right place and may seem like what you are doing is healing for your wife, it does not resonate with what healing means to survivors who have done some healing. In other words, for many of us it runs contrary to healing.

    As one specific example to illustrate what I mean, I can think of a million reasons why it’s not at all good for your wife’s young parts to think of you as their father. For one, it’s not reality. Two, it perpetuates the view of separateness. Third, it creates an unnatural dependency on you. Of course, I can understand that younger part liking it.

    But you are setting up a dangerous dynamic that an outside survivor may look at as abusive (which is why a word like “predator” is coming up in other blogs). Again, I know your heart is in the right place, or at least I don’t have any reason to doubt your sincerity. But I can tell you you are on dangerous ground. If your relationship works with this approach, all the more power to you, but it’s not going to foster healing.

    Paul

    Reply

  3. roguesophia
    Aug 11, 2010 @ 15:00:49

    Whatever method works for you and your wife.

    Reply

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