Blog under Re-construction

It was recently brought to my attention that my somewhat unorthodox healing approach to my wife and her insiders in this blog was “off putting” and “creepy” to some. I know that I can never be all things to all people, and yet I took the frank criticism seriously (even though my wife didn’t, hah!). So I’m going to try to do a little bit of backwards work on this blog and fix any elements that might be easily misunderstood or things that I can say in a different way without changing the perspective that I think is so vital to my wife and her insiders’ rapid healing progress.

If there are any other “brave souls” that have found elements of this blog unnecessarily triggering, I would be indebted if you would share them here or via email. If it’s something that I can say in a different way without giving up our unique perspective, I’d be happy to try.

I changed my “About” entry tonight to give a more detailed overview of my involvement with my girls and help readers understand why I see the insiders as normal outside girls. The other changes may take me a week or two to implement. Thanks for your patience.

Sam, I Am.


11 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. matreshka
    Jul 22, 2010 @ 02:08:31

    I feel sad that you are changing things. I always found your writing helpful and validating. It helped me to see what other might go through when they are around me. And I always admired and will continue to admire you for who you are. I don’t think anyone have a right to tell you what to write and what not to write. If someone does not like it, they don’t have to read it.
    I would ask that you don’t change anything, but it is your decision and your blog. For what it worth your blog is very helpful to me. I am looking forward to seeing you write more.
    With respect for you,


    • Sam Ruck
      Jul 22, 2010 @ 15:29:41

      Thank you Matreshka and LH,

      I knew both of you would feel that way. And trust me, I am NOT going to be untrue to how my wife and I are doing things. But if I can “tweak” some things so that I don’t turn off people unnecessarily, then I’m all for doing that. The first thing I did was change my “About” page so that as people see how deeply I am involved in the healing process they are forewarned that I’m approaching this somewhat unconventionally, though my wife and I were discussing it today and “flooding” the insiders with love and all the other things they were missing originally is a method of healing that is gaining some traction.

      Thanks for your support! I really do appreciate it! Like I said, this is going to be more of a tweak than a total revamping. I asked the person for an evaluation and she was gracious enough to give me an honest opinion. from there it’s up to me what I do or do not do with it.




  2. undercoverdid
    Jul 22, 2010 @ 07:02:14

    I feel the same way as Matreshka. I don’t think it’s anyone’s business to tell you what and how to write. This is your blog and I’m sure while you’d like to be helpful you want to change it, but to be honest there are some people you will never ever please. In a world where so little can be called yours, this blog is yours and its your story. Let it be told. If someone has a problem with it, then they can read elsewhere. I read your blog to get your take on things, not how someone else thinks you should be. Just my opinion. I commend you for putting your thoughts and process out here for all to see. I did go and read your about page, I don’t recall how things were worded before, it sounds fine. I just don’t want to see you trying to write around a censor.


  3. undercoverdid
    Jul 23, 2010 @ 20:48:29

    I’m glad you are approaching it gently and remaining true- I think that’s important 🙂


  4. serafina
    Jul 24, 2010 @ 17:23:36

    Dear Sam,

    I just found your blog this past week. I am so impressed. It has been really helpful to both me and my partner. She read the whole thing in a day and she said you had some marvelous ideas. My small ones have been out more (in the last year or so) and really it has been so helpful to them in their growing and working together more. I think you have a unique perspective! I know my partner and I feel that most of my healing happens at home. Therapy has been helpful to me this time around but that is only 2 and 1/2 hours per week…. the rest is up to my partner and I. You rock!!! I will send a longer note later on via the contact form…



  5. serafina
    Jul 24, 2010 @ 17:29:49


    There used to be a way to just send you an email. is there still an option for that? my email is written above you can put did in the subject. Thanks,


    • Sam Ruck
      Jul 24, 2010 @ 19:09:26

      My email is samruck2 at gmail dot com. I’m trying to figure out how to get the link back up with my email. My cousin set this up for me. Sorry about the mess up.


  6. Sam Ruck
    Jul 24, 2010 @ 19:07:24

    Hi Serafina,

    I’m so glad you found my blog helpful. I hope the best for you and your partner!! I’m not sure where my email is on this page. But it is samruck2 at gmail dot com.



  7. JP
    Jul 25, 2010 @ 09:40:13

    Dear Sam,
    I think this is a wonderful blog. I have met several couples in my work that could embrace their partners insiders. There is relief on both sides. For one the DID diagnosis explains so much and for the other their home can be a safe place to be ‘themselves’ however that might be today.
    I sent a link to four of my clients to get their input.
    I think it would be a little more helpful to have a sentence or two in the ‘About’ section about what DID is. It may give context to your observations.


    • Sam Ruck
      Jul 25, 2010 @ 12:41:26

      Thanks Jane for the input. I’ve been working on tweaking this blog for the last week and I will try to add a little more about what DID is in the about section. I’m so glad you like this blog. If you have any other suggestions or even topic suggestions, please feel free to let me know.




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