Loving My Girls

Well I’m going to try to start my blog again. But this time I will try to focus more on me instead of “My Girls” which is the title of my journal about my interactions for the last two years with my wife and her insiders since they are still not ready for me to share about them and all the delightful times we have had together. This time I want to focus on what I have had to deal with as a husband of a person with DID and the things I have learned along the way that help my girls heal. Some of this will be a little “theoretical” as I reflect on how my girls “tick” and the best way to help them. I am NOT an expert on DID other than the fact that for the last 2 years I literally spend every waking moment trying to think of ways that I can help my girls get through the healing process as quickly as possible. And according to my girls’ theophostic facilitator and the ladies on her website, all my girls have made incredible progress. I’d like to think I am the reason for at least some of that progress.

I do hope I won’t get into “fights” with others who view DID and the healing process differently. Maybe we can find a little common ground like any subject, and the rest we can just agree to disagree.

I’ve got a list of subjects I hope to talk about. If you have any others that you would like to hear about from a husband’s perspective, please feel free to give me suggestions. I want this blog to really focus on how husbands and loved ones can help their DID mates, family member or friends heal best and most quickly. It will NOT be from the perspective of the DID sufferer.

I wish I could say that my girls were totally healed: that’s not the case. But hopefully we’re far enough into the process to have something helpful for those coming along behind us.


Sam, I Am.


10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Linda
    Jun 30, 2010 @ 00:14:03

    Awesome site, thanks for the info. This girl is happy!



  2. matreshka
    Jun 30, 2010 @ 02:48:56

    Glad to see you writing again
    RE 1M : I don’t know where you, guys, live, but I know very good counselor who knows a lot about DID and is very good. We have been through a lot of therapists, counselors, etc, and she is the best of them all. She has unique approach, is Christian, but thinks for herself and does not follow blindly. She would most likely work with both of you, individually, together, or both of the above. She does phone work, if you don’t live in CA. She has web page, as well as facebook. If you want more info, feel free to contact me, and I give more information. She works with Shepherd’s House, feel free to google her. I have tried working with others in that organization, but they all have very different approaches, and she is the best.
    Looking forward to more updates!
    As always, we admire you.
    I don’t remember if last time we commented, we signed differently, but we don’t want certain people find us, therefore we signing as
    Matreshka (Russian Stacking doll – smaller ones inside bigger ones – perfect metaphor for DID)


    • Sam Ruck
      Jun 30, 2010 @ 15:38:00


      right now my wife has a wonderful theophostic facilitator that has helped other DID people who were in much worse shape and abused much more severely than my wife. All my girls are making good progress though I wish we were further.


  3. undercoverdid
    Jul 16, 2010 @ 12:44:47

    Hey Sam 🙂 I’m SO glad to see you writing again- I missed you had been back but I’ll be catching up- have been reading quickly the past hour. Is it ok to shoot you an email on more personal things- was going to update you.


    • Sam Ruck
      Jul 16, 2010 @ 15:29:00

      It was so nice to have your comment waiting. I was starting to wonder if I should keep this blog going. There doesn’t seem to be much need for a husband’s perspective especially when I know I’m coming at the DID issue from a different perspective than the prevailing thinking. You’re always welcome to email me!



  4. undercoverdid
    Jul 16, 2010 @ 22:11:49

    It’s not about stats, if it was I would have given up long ago…it’s about you and helping that one person that it might help, eh you’re helping one so now maybe set your sites on two 😉 Seriously though…it’s good to hear many perspectives and don’t let people put you into a square…you don’t do it to them…they shouldn’t do it to you…just my 2 cents!


    Aug 21, 2010 @ 00:00:52

    I’m probably a little late in saying it, but I really am glad that you started this up again. I haven’t been on wordpress in a while, and I was feeling a bit down today, but seeing that you’re writing again has really made my day. It really helps me understand some of the stranger aspects of having DID even if it’s not from someone with DID explicitly.


    • Sam Ruck
      Aug 21, 2010 @ 00:06:34

      I’m so glad you appreciate what I have to say. Unfortunately you seem to be in the minority. I never thought I would get castigated by the DID community because of how I treat my wife’s insiders. They absolutely love how I treat them and have adopted them into my life and into our family, but for a reason that I cannot comprehend, that seems to go against ISSTD standards and I have been told that in no uncertain terms.

      I’m glad I made your day!



  6. Sandra (@SandraHeretic)
    May 25, 2013 @ 20:30:38

    What are ISSTD standards?


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